Jack and Jill were playing together at the table with the building blocks. Jack, who was 5 years old wanted a four-nub brick but unfortunately there was just the one left in the collection. Jill, who was 4 years old, wanted the four-nub brick too and insisted that her building project was more important than Jack's and therefore she deserved it more. The argument on who deserved the building block more increased in intensity as each child refused to give any quarter. Not only was the decibel level increasing to uncomfortable levels but so was the needle in the chaos meter.
This is a of course a hypothetical scenario, nevertheless, it does represent what takes place in many households across the country.
For the most part, children do play well together but it does not take much for things to fall apart. This is not the only scenario when kids play up. There are others.
Many parents think that when children misbehave that it is an "attention thing". But, is it? Some experts think that this is normal behaviour. They believe that this is behaviour expressed as kids explore their environment. What they fail to acknowledge is that even as kids explore their environment, they are also exploring their boundaries.
The man who was credited with transforming one of the worst schools in Britain, Sir Michael Wilshaw, had this to say concerning his school: 'We recognise that our pupils need more structure at school, not less, if they lack it at home. Children here know there are lines which they should not cross.'
There is of course the other side of the argument. Days are gone when we expect children to do as they are told and to be seen and not heard. We do not have that kind of society any more neither do we have that kind of parent any more. We do need to listen to what our children are saying as well. In other words, if you want children to respect you then you have to give them respect.
In setting boundaries, age and stage of development of a child is important. Are the boundaries that we have set for our children reasonable?
When kids feel sad or bad for whatever reason, they show this through their behaviour. They may not be able to articulate the reasons for them feeling the way they do so they depend on communicating their feelings by the way they behave.
From a practical standpoint it is important that you stand your ground. No should mean no. This way your kids will know where they stand with you. Talk first and if they do not listen then send them upstairs for 10 minutes and then bring them down. Of course, we need to be careful that we do not fall into the trap of not noticing when our kids are behaving well. When they are playing with their siblings well and tidying up and are sharing their things or any other positive behaviour can be so easily missed in the innumerable distractions we have to deal with.
The minute children misbehave we come in and give loads of attention but of course the message we are giving out to the child is 'I get loads of attention if I misbehave'.
Another practical way is to reinforce school discipline policy with regards to good behaviour and respect for others, at home. Every school has a discipline policy written by the head teacher. Familiarise yourself with this policy and adopt it to the home environment.
This is a of course a hypothetical scenario, nevertheless, it does represent what takes place in many households across the country.
For the most part, children do play well together but it does not take much for things to fall apart. This is not the only scenario when kids play up. There are others.
Many parents think that when children misbehave that it is an "attention thing". But, is it? Some experts think that this is normal behaviour. They believe that this is behaviour expressed as kids explore their environment. What they fail to acknowledge is that even as kids explore their environment, they are also exploring their boundaries.
The man who was credited with transforming one of the worst schools in Britain, Sir Michael Wilshaw, had this to say concerning his school: 'We recognise that our pupils need more structure at school, not less, if they lack it at home. Children here know there are lines which they should not cross.'
There is of course the other side of the argument. Days are gone when we expect children to do as they are told and to be seen and not heard. We do not have that kind of society any more neither do we have that kind of parent any more. We do need to listen to what our children are saying as well. In other words, if you want children to respect you then you have to give them respect.
In setting boundaries, age and stage of development of a child is important. Are the boundaries that we have set for our children reasonable?
When kids feel sad or bad for whatever reason, they show this through their behaviour. They may not be able to articulate the reasons for them feeling the way they do so they depend on communicating their feelings by the way they behave.
From a practical standpoint it is important that you stand your ground. No should mean no. This way your kids will know where they stand with you. Talk first and if they do not listen then send them upstairs for 10 minutes and then bring them down. Of course, we need to be careful that we do not fall into the trap of not noticing when our kids are behaving well. When they are playing with their siblings well and tidying up and are sharing their things or any other positive behaviour can be so easily missed in the innumerable distractions we have to deal with.
The minute children misbehave we come in and give loads of attention but of course the message we are giving out to the child is 'I get loads of attention if I misbehave'.
Another practical way is to reinforce school discipline policy with regards to good behaviour and respect for others, at home. Every school has a discipline policy written by the head teacher. Familiarise yourself with this policy and adopt it to the home environment.
